FATHER'S DAY: 2 very different fathers share common purpose -- devotion to their families
Jun 20, 2009, 6:26 PM
By RYAN DAVIS
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| Chris DeHart celebrates his first Father's Day with his new daughter. |
Once a living space filled with friends and music, Chris’ home is now filled with the sound of a baby’s cries, pacifiers, blankets, empty baby bottles and diapers.
Chris joined the Air Force, and was in basic military training only a month after graduation. His first and only assignment would be Whiteman Air Force Base.
“I was in (the Air Force) one year, 10 months and 22 days until I was medically retired, after being diagnosed with seizures,” he said.
Forced out of work, he decided to stay in the area and try to find a job. After three months of searching, Chris was hired at the Army Air Force Exchange Service Shoppette, where he eventually became a manager.
During this period, he married his long-time girlfriend Carlie, who he had met at church prior to enlisting in the military. After being married four months, Carlie was pregnant.
“I was pretty excited throughout everything,” Chris said. “I had helped my parents raise my little brothers and sister, and so I kind of missed it.”
As the months passed, the couple prepared for their new child -- the gravity of the situation not sinking in until later.
“I don’t think that it really hit (Chris) that we were having a baby until the week before,” Carlie said.
After several false alarms, she finally went into labor.
“When I knew it was for real, I was stoked!” Chris said. “Carlie was all in a rush to get to the car and was forgetting things. So I had to slow her down in order to ensure that we hadn’t forgotten anything.”
May 18, at 9:32 a.m., after 48 hours of labor, their daughter Aerolynn Jean DeHart was born, weighing 8 pounds.
“When Aerolynn was born, I was worried about taking pictures for everyone,” Chris said. “I had my camera and was taking pictures of every little thing happening in the room.”
Now a month later, they are trying to shift into their roles as parents, overcoming difficulties along the way.
“Having a kid just takes some getting used to,” Chris said. “Every day is different, so it’s hard to settle in. But it’s changed our lives for the better. It made Carlie and I more responsible. It made us grow up faster.
“Before we had (Aerolynn), we partied a lot and now you can’t really do that when you have a crying baby.”
He said that it’s the little things along the way that make the experience even more rewarding.
“I get the most satisfaction when she won’t stop crying,” Chris said. “I’ve tried everything and finally I can get her to stop. It makes you feel like you’ve won a small battle. But the whole experience has been good.”
Carlie said her husband likes to talk to Aerolynn and play classical music for brain development.
“He has a lot of patience and is a really good father,” Carlie DeHart said. “He wants her to be smart and wants the best for her.”
As far as the future goes, Chris said, “I’m most looking forward to seeing what she grows up to be and what kind of a person that she is going to be when she gets older.”
Although raising a child can be tough, some say the dynamic of the relationship progresses over time.
For many, the father-child relationship changes over the years.
Larry Thomas learned the dynamics of fatherhood 49 years ago
Larry Thomas, 71, is a retired, father of three grown sons -- David, 49, Michael, 48, and Gary, 46. Thomas and his wife, Karen, met in September, 1958.
“I was attending a naval school at the Great Lakes Training Facility and she was working at a restaurant downtown. I went in there for a cup of coffee. She waited on me -- and the rest is history,” he said.
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| Larry Thomas raised three grown sons, who he now looks to for advice. |
Within their first year of marriage, the couple welcomed their first son, David, into the world.
“Karen had become pregnant with David and I was shipped to Greenland. So she actually resided with my folks, or her folks, while I was overseas for a year,” Larry said. “I did get leave in September when David was due, came back for his birth, and then had to go back to resume the last few months of my tour.”
From what he can remember, Larry said the birth of his first son was an occasion of mixed emotions.
“I felt joy, but had mixed emotions, because when you are 21 years old and it’s your first child, everything is new,” Larry said. “Most of my life at that point had either been going to high school or playing with cars and motorcycles. When babies first come into the world, they don’t come with any type of a tag on their toe to tell you how to raise them. So, when the birth of a child comes along, it’s such an overwhelming experience I guess that you are pretty much in the fog for awhile.”
Larry had to quickly adjust, because within a period of three years, the couple had three children, which he said, was a real eye-opener.
“It obviously changes your life 100 percent, because in my case, I went from single, barely getting off the ground in the Air Force, to becoming a husband, a father, and within three years, a father of three children,” Larry said. “So I immediately realized I had to buckle down, do everything that I could to make a living and provide for my family. It’s an understatement to say that it turns your life upside down.
“I was fairly young when the kids were born and looking back at it, not exactly mature. I guess we all grew up as kids. I knew my role as a father; but I had a lot of joy doing what the kids did. But I had to balance being a father, being a leader and not being just their friend.”
Larry said although there are tough times that come with the realization of becoming a parent, there are also times that are rewarding.
“I think the fondest memories I have of my children would be in their teen years, and I say that in direct contradiction to the toughness of it,” Larry said. “When the kids are growing up, you have a warped sense of joy observing them do ‘stupid things’ and learning from their mistakes.”
Gary Thomas, his youngest son, said, “Like most teens and their fathers, we bumped heads. But we have been able to move past all of that and I think that now we have a really strong relationship.”
Today his sons have moved out and live throughout the country. As time passes, Larry said the roles have reversed in his relationship with his sons.
“All of the kids have obtained college degrees and I didn’t, so in many ways, they have surpassed me in areas,” Larry said. “I have found later in life that now I sound off of them for expertise and I don’t have a problem with that. It’s very rewarding to be able to call your child for their expertise on something you need help with."
Gary still looks up to his father in many ways.
“(Growing up), my father was the same guy that he is right now. Whenever someone was having car troubles or something, he was there to help,” Gary said. “My father is one of the most honest people and has the most integrity of anyone that I have ever known. He’s a good role-model, a good mentor and I try to follow his example.”
It was this example that his sons would have to follow in October 2007, when their father was involved in a major accident.
“I was involved in a very serious motorcycle accident and my leg had to be amputated above the knee,” Larry said. “I found that my kids rallied around the wife and I, and they went overboard as far as we were concerned. We would have had a very tough time making it through that. They really helped us out and gave us a lot of love and support.
“For about three months afterwards, they took turns and came to the house, staying 24 hours a day to help us get through the tough times. I don’t know how you could ask for any more from your kids.”
