Opinion, Reviews

A review: ‘The Mummy (2017): The Curse of the Remake’

(WARRENSBURG, Mo.) – Every year, without exception, bad movies are made. While there will always be good movies, there will always be bad movies to counter. In 2017, audiences were forced to endure one of the worst films of the year, “The Mummy.” ­– other possible candidates would be “The Emoji Movie,” “The Dark Tower,” “Geostorm” and “Transformers: The Last Knight.”

This movie isn’t worth the price of admission. I’ll be honest, this movie is bad. It might not be the worst, but it’s still really bad.

Tom Cruise, whose age is starting to show, stars as an action hero that becomes cursed by an ancient, evil mummy. I would give more detail about the events of this movie, but that would require more time than I think its worth.

 The script feels generic and so do the characters. I will admit, some of the actors do try to give a solid performance, though others just feel bland. Despite a promising opening sequence, it quickly loses momentum and hope for entertainment. Sometimes the plot can feel confusing, and not in the good way because some story elements aren’t explained properly.

Throughout “The Mummy,” there are plenty of moments that are completely predictable, yet the movie acts like you don’t see it coming. At one part, they capture the villain with still a half-hour of runtime to go; guess what happens next? At another part, I was wishing the villain would hurry up and kill some people because she was taking too long to sneak up on them.

It’s also not exciting. I’m not sure how being chased by an unstoppable evil force can feel dull, but this movie found a way. Overall, seeing this movie makes the viewer feel like they have just felt the effects of one of the Plagues of Egypt.

“The Mummy” is one of the worst remakes in recent memory. Though bear in mind, “The Mummy” does not prove that all remakes suck, because “The Mummy” from 1999 is also a remake. Originally, “The Mummy” was first made in 1932 starring horror icon Boris Karloff, and was followed with five sequels. Then in 1959, Hammer studios remade “The Mummy,” starring horror icon Christopher Lee, and was followed by three sequels of its own.

After almost four decades, “The Mummy” was remade again in 1999 starring non-horror icon Brendan Frazier, this was later followed by two sequels becoming a trilogy. So in reality, “The Mummy” with Tom Cruise is a remake of a remake of another remake. And unlike the other “Mummy” films, I doubt this one will ever get a sequel, let alone a cinematic universe.

That’s right, “The Mummy” was trying to start its own cinematic universe, called the Dark Universe. The idea was to create a movie universe with movie monsters owned by Universal Studios. This would have included monsters such as “Dracula,” “The Wolfman” and “Frankenstein.”

 Basically, “The Mummy” was trying to be “Iron Man” with monsters. At times it feels like a rip off the Marvel Cinematic Universe. For example, it features a secret organization that protects the world and is controlled by a mysterious director – does this sound familiar?

Honestly, this film did have some potential. There were a few interesting ideas, it could’ve been good, or decent at least. But the final product is pretty much a waste of time. I don’t recommend seeing it, even if you do enjoy watching bad movies. “The Room” or “Birdemic: Shock and Terror” may be so bad it’s fun to watch, “The Mummy” is not.

Like an ancient curse, do your best to avoid this movie.

 

Editor’s note 1/19/18: A previous version of this story stated the original “The Mummy” was made in 1923, the typo has been edited to reflect the actual release year: 1932.

3 Comments

Jacque Flanagan

Thanks for fact-checking us Colby, the story has now been updated.

We appreciate your readership.

Jacque Flanagan
Managing Editor

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